Stand Grammar School

Church Lane, Whitefield, Manchester
Demolished 2001 AD

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Contributions from Old Standians

This term's Star letters...


I found your website for Stand Grammar School earlier today and was saddened by the pictures.  I was at the school from 1953 to 1960 (Clive house) and sung along to the strains of Gaudeamus Igitur, although it did get a bit wearing after the ninth rendition.  I have in my possession a copy of "The Standian" 1960, signed on the back by a number of worthies from the school who left the same year as myself.  Sadly I don't keep in touch with many but one or two pop up over the years.

There are two staff profiles in the magazine, one for Mr G. S. Hamer (Sap to us) and one for a Mr W. P. Burch (Note the spelling but it's still Willie P).

I also have a School Prospectus, a rare thing of great beauty, which I think my father found sculling around in a cupboard somewhere.  It may have been at one of the many junior schools in the area where he was headmaster or it could have been at Bury Golf Club where he was a long standing member.  It is quite old but it must have been after 1930 because the aforementioned Mr G. S. Hamer is on the staff along with "Spike" and "Ernie".  The head was Dennis Norwood which means nothing to me as "Sammy" was the "Beak" when I started.  The fees were £2 16s 0d. per term.

A framed photograph of the whole school, May 1957, hangs behind me in what I laughingly call my office.  I am on the back row, sixth from the left between Ian Glass and Alec Revitt, those names just came to me I hope they are right.

I was pleased to see Phil Hargreaves on the photos and read the reminiscences of Pupils of the school.

Thanks for all your efforts and keep up the good work

Best regards

John Chisnall


Just came across your brilliant site, will get back to you with some tales.  I was there from 62-67.  1C, 2B, 3S, 4M, 5S.  I remember Stephen Levy, who is on your list.

I now live and work in Milton Keynes (17+ years).  My education took off when I left Stand.  Funny, I always wanted to demolish it while I was there!

I was also in the merchant navy with Blue Star line from 75-79, as some were asking about this.

Anybody who whishes to contact me please do so if you remember me.  My parents, who are no longer with us, had all my photos so I will try and drag them out.

Eddie Clark

Dear Martyn

I found your email address at the Stand Grammar School website. I am currently writing a book (to be published by Quartet in 2002) on a certain Mark Edward Smith who went to the school, I think, between 1968 and 1973. I think you may have been at school with him at this time?

Mark left school for the docks,  then founded a band called The Fall, which is still going. He still lives in Sedgley Park, Prestwich.

If you have any memory of him or any anecdotes about yours and his schooldays I would be very grateful to hear them.

Yours sincerely,

Simon Ford


I was a detainee at Stand from 72 - 79 at the same time as Wayne Jackson and Duggie Flynn. I am now an IT specialist working for IBM in Warwick, this is how I came across your site, being bored working nights surfing the net.  I put a search on Stand Grammar and, lo and behold, this site was there. I remember having to go to the school for the first time, the day before term started for all the first years and thinking HELP!!!! as I knew no-one at all,  having just moved into the area from Gods own country, Yorkshire.

What do I remember, yes, Billy Bowers getting a right shiner in Rugby training from Knowles, especially as Billy Bower thought he was David Watkins, if I remember rightly, he had a nasty cut underneath the eye as well and having to cut the training short.  We all trudged back to the changing rooms and met Haggis on the way.  His immortal words were "That’s what happens when you play savage sports", that coming from the man that liked to swing Percy and inflict pain on young boys.

I remember getting caught smoking behind the canteen along with several others, like Steve Lomax and Dave Partington, by two prefects, one being Gavin Service, who was also member of the same rugby team - talk about looking after your teammates!  We got taken to see Tab Hunter, as Hudson was away, and being lectured on forest fires, as it was in the summer of 76 (when we had a summer), even though we had been standing on concrete steps.  Then he produced this cane about 7" long (an old bit of garden cane) and told me it was going to be my punishment.  I came out in tears, but of laughter.

The Dave Crook bit I remember as he was in my class and it was a lad called Ian Macauley (Plug) whose dad got it into the Daily Mirror. One comment on my report from Bubbles Clarke prior to taking my o-levels, not  achance of passing Physics, hopeless case, then proved him wrong by getting a B  in Physics then going onto get an A-level in Physics.

It’s been good reading through the stories from people whose names I recognise.

Hi again.

Just to pick up what Martin Livingtone wanted to know...  "Who was the Maths/Physics teacher who we called Ken (had a 'tache) and used to follow Babs Bunting round with his tongue hanging out? Knob."  It was Ken Whitworth. a.k.a. Ken Ben Len! Tosser.

"The chap who taught Classical Studies and followed Oldham Athletic and Werneth CC"  Mr. Barrett (sic) a.k.a. Sid Barrett. Forgot his first name, but was a thoroughly decent bloke.

I haven't heard a mention for the other Classical Studies chap - Mr. Slack (Agamemnon!) - I recall his missus also teaching there for a while, Mrs. Slack (Slagamemnon). Also... Jenny Saunders - now she was fit (relatively), ace pair of pins I recall, much better than Babs Bunting's. Anyone remember Mr. Rigby? Scouse git with Liverpool FC, permed hair, circa Terry McDermott era, and fake tan too.

Do any of my contemporaries remember the Granada film crew using SGS as a location for a TV drama program. Must have been 73/74. The program was called 'Birdy' I think... The film crew were there for a few weeks. I remember their catering van handed out free munchies to us as we went home. They filmed us doing a school assembly, took almost a whole afternoon, a rehearsal, then a 'take' - I recall DB Hudson had slimed his way into a cameo appearance with the cast on the school stage. But there was a 'dolly shot' when the camera tracked back down the hall showing a few seconds of the entire school - looking bored. The program was shown in 74/75 and contained many location shots of the interior and exterior of SGS.

Could be worth getting in touch with Granada to see if they archived it onto video tape - or even if it still exists at all!

Regards,  Ian Levine

Hello Martyn,

Somehow Amanda my wife came across and from there I found your site.  It was quite upsetting to hear and see that the old school was being replaced by housing.  It may not have been the best time of my life, although looking back I did learn quite a few things there and no doubt it has contributed to me being the person I am.  Your site also brought back quite a few memories as I am sure it would do for anyone who has spent time at the school.

I had to leave in '79 being denied access to the 6th and 7th year by the local education people as I lived on the wrong side of the street and ended up being sent to Peel VI Form college in Bury!  I lost touch with a large number of people as I left the area a few years later after University at Salford and moved South to Basingstoke.

Now I am working for a London company and living near Southampton with my Wife and 3 children.

Somewhere in one of the many boxes in the loft I have some memorabilia including a photo of the 1974 starters in Ragdale with Haggis taken on the front lawn and probably a few Standians from the era.  Somewhere there exists some cine footage (a couple of minutes only) of a school trip to France.  I will try and locate them and send copies for your (and others) amusement.   One question that keeps cropping up in my mind from time to time is about a TV programme/series called something like ***** Angels.  I think it was shown around 1974/75 and was supposed to have been filmed at Stand around 1973.  Is this my feeble mind making something from nothing or did it really happen ?

You have done a great job putting the site together and helping keep me amused and interested for a few hours.  Thanks for the work you have put into it.  I will check back regularly for any new pieces of information that appears.


Carl Taylor, Ragdale, 1974-1979

Hi Martyn,

Glad my memory is not fading too fast.  I will send off my £10 today and won't forget to mention your name.

My memories of Haggis are mainly good.  I was not particularly sporty (hated it, still do) but if it had not been for him my spelling, arithmetic and knowledge of Lancashire and writing with a real pen would probably be none existent.  He taught my father so I had expected he would be long gone by now.  If you are still in touch with him please pass on my regards.

Feel free to put my email contact details on your site - I have already found a few other class mates contact details and sent mails off to them.

My job is all Internet technology oriented so I have most facilities for scanning etc and will send anything I find off to you.  (Depends when I can get up into the loft without my kids wanting to help).

Speak to you soon,



Hello Martyn,

having just read most of the messages posted on the site, it  has brought back many fond and dreaded memories (Haggis) of the old place.  What a shame it's now history. I attended Stand between 70 and 76, but  rarely do I get to see any old friends.  Most of the messages seemed to recollections of the old days - and the  naming of old teachers etc, but I have a question - what has become of these  people we feared and admired - who undoubtedly helped us all in our chosen  paths of employment? Also, out of interest, I am curious to hear if Stand  Grammar was responsible for anyone incredibly famous? (apart from Clive of  India!). Have we any Lords amongst us? any millionaires? anyone knighted?  I wonder how many are politicians, doctors and barristers etc.  Myself? well my name is Neil Thompson, and I am an officer in Greater  Manchester County Fire Service, and I would love to hear from any of my old  mates from the past.

Neil Thompson   (Tommo)  - lots of long hair and hung around the art room!!   p.s. my younger brother Colin went to Stand between 72 and 78'

Dear Martyn,

Just wanted to thank you for the time and trouble it must have taken you and your friends to put together the web site for Stand Grammar; I must admit that I feel quite young having only attended Stand 'College' from 1984 - 1987, (my brother Tim also attended at around the same time and I remember the disapproval we were viewed with when I carried him around the upper studies area after winning a mock college election as our 'Conservative Candidate' !).

The reason I looked on the internet and found your site - I passed that way a couple of weeks ago and almost dropped my bike, (not good when it's a 180kg 600cc sports bike), with the shock of seeing the place had gone. I actually stopped outside the gates and had a thoughtful cigarette .

Best Regards

Robert S. Clynes

Dear Martyn,

My dentist Neil Larah told me about the stand Web Site whilst the bugger was  drilling my teeth and running up a huge bill (sorry Neil!).

I was at Stand from 1972 to 1979 and Howard Joseph (himself a contributor) was there at the same time - he just got his dates wrong, the silly sod. My eldest brother, Shaun Jackson went to Stand (he's now an ENT consultant on the Wirral), next brother up Dean was also an inmate (now a head teacher in Northumberland) and my youngest brother Liam (a head teacher in Scunthorpe) attended but sneaked in the back way after being waylaid at Heys Road for five years.

My claim to fame is unprintable but I was responsible for writing the article in "The Standian" mag for 1979 about our debauched football trip to Germany with Paddy McCafferty. For reasons I never understood, first formers were ordered to excise the piece from every copy before they were distributed. Of course, it didn't work out quite like that and the piece was published in some underground rag (of which I have a copy somewhere)  called Metro News.

I remember Doug Flynn well as we were in the same class - he was a pretty good swimmer and a good lad, as I recall. I too witnessed the Dave Crook incident as he was also in our class and what he did was done for a bet. Dave didn't giver a toss about things by that stage and I remember waiting in the assembly as we all knew full well what was coming. It was scripted straight from "The Goodies".

Me, I went off to Sheffield University, read Law, started training as an accountant and discovered a fate worse than a fate worse than death, so went back to the law. I now practise as a barrister in Manchester and have done for the last eighteen years.

I've never been one for trips down memory lane but visiting the sit brought back many old memories. And Haggis still alive!? He must be in need of some carbon dating, surely? How sad that the old school was reduced to rubble just so that someone's accounts would balance.

Wayne Jackson

Incredible! I was searching on the internet, keyed in my old school, and your web site popped up.    I had a few nostalgic moments reading all the news, and was especially sad to see the demolition photo's.

I was at Stand from 1954-1960.    Must search out my old reports, they are  carefully hidden away from my daughters eyes otherwise they will realise I did not exactly practise what I preach.  There must be some classic comments on the reports as I was not exactly the most accomplished student.   My first view of Stand was in Form 1A, Hamer (Sap?) was our form master, which was fine, but my "run ins" with Nutty Knot earned me many detentions  and after three detentions it was off to the Beak (Williamson) and a bend over the table session with an introduction to the cane.  This accomplished nothing constructive apart from making me a rebel, and culminated in me blowing my nose on some poor prefects tie.  If you read this (no names) - apologies it wasn’t you, it was the system.

So it was only when I left Stand that I really tried to further my education, serving an engineering apprenticeship at the General Engineering Company in Radcliffe, then to the drawing office -Killer Crouchley please note - then into the merchant navy as an Engineer Officer with British India Steam for 8 of the best years of my life.  Now I live in Canada working at a  large consulting engineering company as a Supervising Engineer.  Perhaps it wasn’t all a waste of time after all, Haggis.  Oh! and just to put the record straight, I never did smoke while at school.

Don’t recognise any names, but hope some of the following will read this and respond: Frank Denny, Fred Sanderson, Dave Cox and the guys I played football  with both at Stand in the morning and Parish Juniors in the afternoon, Jimmy Lomas, Geoff Hall, Kenny Kirkpatrick, John Horrocks, Nick Roscoe.

Will write again soon and welcome e-mails.  Many thanks for a great site.

Barrie Warwick

Dear Martyn,

Today I visited the demolition site that was formerly Stand Grammar School, and after collapsing to the floor in floods of tears I managed to retrieve a few bricks, one of which I am having built into my extension presently being erected at home. I know some may scorn and call me a nostalgic fool, but at least the memories will live on.  Maybe some of the ghosts will come to haunt me... Iggy Jones, Willy P. Birch, Robert Clive... to name a view. Possibly my house will become a Mecca for sad ex-pupils of Stand.  Maybe I'll collect some more and auction them on the net with all proceeds donated to a home to house old teachers of the former paradise we lovingly knew as home...

Yours sincerely,
A Sad and Nostalgic Jeremy Cooper

Hey, let’s have a little more stiff upper lip, old chap! You’ll get us all slippered! - Martyn

Tom Sweetman has sent some amusing anagrams:

Stand College = Golden Castle

From the anagrams of ‘Stand Grammar School’ sent to me by Tom Sweetman, I think the following are  the most amusing:

Orgasms can’t harm old
Damn logs harm scrota
Stomach grand morals
Dragon almost charms
Gonad charms mortals
Mad gas controls harm
Hard orgasms calm not
Scorn mad ghost alarm
God charms moral ants
Carnal gods harm most
Orgasm and lost charm
Orgasms harm cold ant
Dragons match morals
Mad mortals shag corn
Graham’s mad controls
Gross act harm old man
Harlot commands rags
Gosh! Normal smart cad
Most lads charm organ

That’s not very good, when you consider that this number of letters is capable of being arranged in 18 factorial (6.4 x 1015) number of ways, before we even consider spaces.

It makes me wonder how, using such a useless bunch of  letters, they came up with ‘Stand Grammar School’ in the first place.


Hi Martyn

I must congratulate you on your efforts with this site - always up-to-date, must take quite a bit of effort - thanks.  Love reading the letters and it's good to know everyone shared the same experiences, kind of puts in all in perspective.  Somehow, when your going through it, it often seems like you’re on your own!  I still am the sensitive type!

Anyhow, I noticed the letter from Simon Benyair relating an incident concerning "women's things" and it reminded me of a story I was told by someone at Stand the first year it became a 6th form college.  Tabs Hunter was teaching a class and a girl came in late.  After much questioning as to her lateness, she said she’d had to go to the toilet.  Then when he pushed it further and asked her why she couldn't have done it after the lesson, she cracked and said "Look, I've been changing my sanitary towel, ok", to which he replied, "Maybe so, but we can't have you missing periods for that kind of thing".  Tickled me anyhow.

Also, does anybody remember the time Anthony Valentine took a running jump down the steps towards the gym and toilets?  (About '79).  He managed to hit his head on the concrete stairwell and ended up on his back.  That's gotta hurt!  Bet he's still seeing stars!  Anybody know what happened to him?

Most fearful moment EVERRRRRRRRR!  1st year with Haggis and for some reason I can't remember  he punished me by making me train with the first team football squad on Monday night.  Not pleasant for a dumpy 11-year old kid.  I was shitting bricks until McCafferty arrived at 5pm and after explaining my presence while fighting back the fear, he told me to go home and forget it.  Uncharacteristic of him, but I'm always grateful to hi for that.  He made up for it in fifth form by pushing, threatening and slippering the hell out of me, Dave Pugh and Chris Wolstenholme in a deserted gym for pissing about during the annual carol service.  Met him in pubs around Prestwich after I left and he was a great bloke.  Actually bought me a drink!

Well, that's this month’s therapy over with!

Incidentally, I still have my copy of the whole-school photo taken in 74 (I think).  I'm trying to work out how to scan it and send it but it's 3 feet long and framed.  Ideas welcome!

Keep up the good work and check out the totally new website


Andrea Gunnill & Howard Crompton

Hello Martyn,

 Your excellent web-site brought back many happy memories.   I was a pupil at SGS  from 1953-1960 and was in the same year and also a close friend of Howard Jacobson.  Others that come to mind are Bob Lee, Barry Speed, John Heilpern, Aubrey Isaccson, Stuart Kershaw and a guy whose nickname was Bonus.  I can't remember his real name.   One of my clearest memories is of Baz Speed having a scuffle with Boris Knot, the Spanish teacher, who had been tormenting him for ages.  It was the day Baz was leaving and he opened his school report and Boris went spare.  After a melee around room 20, I think, Baz definitely came out on top, picked up his satchel and bade us all farewell.  What a great way to finish school! I later became a teacher despite all the strange ones I encountered at Stand.  I must add that there were some very interesting and inspiring characters there too.   I am living on the Gold Coast of Queensland,  Australia and would be delighted to hear from anyone who remembers me.

 Kind Regards,

 Stan Black

Dear Martyn

Thanks for writing back - great to hear from you and what a cracking web site. It did my head in for the whole day as more and more memories came back. The demolition pictures were a bit of a shock but I suppose change is inevitable. Nice to see that 'Haggis' is still alive and kicking - I don't think he was very impressed with me - I reckon that "Worst Footballer of the Year 1967" was between me and Dave Ansell!

What are you up to these days?

I spent 20 years as a nurse before I finally discovered what I wanted to do - now I'm a groundsman at Aintree racecourse. It's manual, poorly paid and I absolutely love it! I live near Preston with my wife and two daughters.

Again, great to hear from you and great to read your website.


Dave Bellairs


Really enjoyed reading the website - loads of things I thought I had forgotten (and some I just wish I had!).

Been racking my brains to think of things that no one else has mentioned: (in no particular order):

-    Mr Shortt - French teacher, patent leather shoes, dicky bow, used to scratch his ear with his front door key!

-    The cage of locusts at the back of the bio lab - used to liven up boring lessons by giving it a knock thereby enraging said locusts. I remember in one lesson a student teacher called 'Loopy' Lawson being sent absolutely mental by this trick - magical!

-    Getting my mother to sew a pocket in my cross-country shorts, ostensibly for a hankerchief, but in reality for 5 Park Drive and a box of matches - Brilliant!

-    Getting caught smoking during cross-country by Jock Weir - not so brilliant.

-    Dave Lomas turning up for football in royal blue socks.
   'Hairy' Hynes     - "What are those on the end of your legs, boy?"
    Dave               - "Feet, sir."
    Absolutely priceless!

-    Dave Gorrell - was in 4M with me but no-one seems to have mentioned him in their class lists.

-    Dave (?) Blackburn (Blackie) - whatever happened to etc....

-    The prehistoric urinals midway between the school and the canteen.

-    And, to Rob Shimmin, I remember the phantom scrap metal dealer too!

On a more solemn note Ian Joseph was asking about Keith Murden. My stepfather worked with Keith's mother and I can confirm that Keith is sadly no longer with us, having suffered a heart attack in his mid-30's. I remember Keith once parting my hair with a fast-paced delivery during a house cricket match, so respect, mate and here's to absent friends.

I'll send more if I can get the ageing brain in gear.

Thanks again Martyn for the great website.

Anyone who remembers me please e-mail me.


Dave Bellairs (1966/72 - 1C, 2C, 3S, 4M, 5S.)


Thank you for your bringing back so many memories. I attended Stand from 1974 until 1982, by which time it had completed the process of becoming a full time 6th Form College.

I moved back to Whitefield almost five years ago, sparing little more than a cursory glance on the many occasions I passed the building. Once the bulldozers moved in, however, I felt like a part of my youth was being taken away, and I had to go back "over the wall" one last time, while there was something left to go back to.

I see that you already have some pictures of the school taken by Tom Sweetman. It would seem that I have duplicated many of them, but I have sent you a few images to add to your collection, including a couple of the inside. One of the shots shows the entrance foyer and the stairs which led past Tab Hunter's old office. I looked for the rest of his finger in the rubble, but couldn't find it. Another shot shows my first classroom (1S). As you can see, the demolition crew have done what Smelly Smethurst's board duster never quite managed. Admittedly, there was usually someone's head in the way of the board duster, and it rarely actually hit the walls.

I'm pleased to see that Haggis is still with us. I am an optician now, and spend a couple of days a week near Haslingden. I'll be on the look out for him.

Best regards,

David Gould

This one nearly slipped through the net; I just found it in my inbox. Sorry, Dave!

Hello Martyn,

I need to redress the balance and not let all you youngsters have all the fun.

 I speak for the 1957-65 vintage, when Haggis and his Percy was/were a mere warm up act for the dreaded Schofield (Latin), Venvell (Aryan English) and the incomprehensible “Mia Wobber” (Chemistry). Yes, those were the days when anything could (and did) fly across the room from the board-duster to half a dozen milk bottles!  When Chris Goodge (ex Olympic Hurdler) would pursue the Cross Country team round the back of Prestwich Hospital brandishing a gym-shoe watched by the bemused inmates out for their afternoon wander.

And what became of the comedy acts? Is the spirit of Joe Bogg still wandering the corridor outside Room 7, a cross between The Ancient Mariner and Dracula, looking for little boys who didn’t back their Speech Training Folder! Is Joe Whit still haunting Room 1 with his tales of Pythagoras’s tea-parties (pie for tea). Is the Beak (Austen F.Williamson)  teaching celestial first formers how to conjugate the very useful Greek verb “to loose” because only half the class fitted into woodwork…and did he ever learn your name after seven years? And is a heavenly Fat Fred still chortling with laughter as he peers over the shoulders of A-Level pure maths candidates as they sweat over their now, alas, much simpler papers?

 By the way, consider what it was like as a young teacher in 1970 and as a visiting cricket team chaperone to have to take tea with Hargreaves ! I don’t remember the conversation. Was there a conversation? What pleasantries could have been exchanged with a man from whose lips I had only heard sarcasm and abuse?

 But we survived, scathed or otherwise. A few I still know of:

Lawrence McGinty of ITV.
Paul Loman, software consultant in Brighton.
Bill Petit became a Motorway Cop I think.
Steve Morris was an optician but later became a director in the family firm Moben.

Perhaps the most colourful c.v. would be for Mike Gissing who on the strength of his O-level Spanish (taught by the infamous Chester) “worked as a front man for the Mafia” in Fuerteventura selling land development. Later he worked for a Lancashire paper company and got the contract to supply all the paper for the Costa Rica National Lottery. Unfortunately a middle man scarpered with the money for the paper. Last heard of in the USA -if you’re out there Mike, say Hello!

Regards, David Sheldon (Beak at Prestwich Prep. School).

I came across your Stand Grammar School web site thanks to a colleague at work. It brought back so many things that I thought I'd forgotten. I was there from '73 - '79 along with Paul Prendergast and Ian Levine. Anyway, more of that when I can get into the loft and dig out my old school stuff that I've kept (sad but true!). I saw this while looking at the Bolton Evening News on-line yesterday and thought you might be interested, unless you already knew thanks to your "spies":-

    Fire sweeps old campus

    FIRE ripped through former classrooms at a derelict college campus in
    Whitefield, last night. Firefighters spent two hours dealing with the blaze
    at Stand College site.

    Bolton Evening News 05/04/2001

Bye for now.

Eric Davies

Hi Martyn


Found your site totally by accident as I was doing a search for Manchester Liners.

Manchester Liners people I know of are Neil Glendinning, Graham Farrington. Mark Kilcoyne joined Shell. Anyone else join the Merchant Navy?

Yes I went to Stand Grammar - Yes I was in the same class as Ian Levine, Paul Prendergast and Lawrence Jeffries (Mrs Marshall) Yes I couldn't wait to leave Yes my Brother Ian was in the 1st Year when I was in the fifth. My sister Andrea went when it was a sixth form college

And more importantly why didn't someone tell me it was being knocked down - I'd have helped.

Things to remember off the top of my head - now let me see how long have I got?

Dave Crook - saw that, there was a lad in the year above me (Dave Crook's year) and his dad, Ted McCauley? worked for the Daily Mirror and was the motorcycle reporter or something like that. Ecky thump was from The Goodies.

Someone pinching a 1966 World Cup final programme from Mrs Marshall's class. Now who was in Mrs Marshall's class, 1S and also collected football programmes? I can't remember. However if someone with the initials LJ would like the England vs. Argentina game to complete his collection I wo.......

Trying to hang Pansy Williams in the temporary classrooms

Ties - picking out the red thread to leave black and yellow.
Ties - Having the world's largest knot with about 1" of tie and the remaining 3' being tucked into trousers (still can't do metric)

Getting to the 4th year and realising this uniform thing was not to be taken seriously, hence big oxford bag cords (black) trainers (black) and polo shirt (white) plus huge tie.


Running into Mr Cheetham in Metalwork for wearing high heels (C'mon guys it was the fashion) Hard to play footie in, but those metalwork benches were easier to work on... Remember that scooter and pottie he used to wear on his head?

Enjoyed doing the Fell Walking Club with Mr Crouchley (very nice chap) Wooden dolphins and hedgehog clothes brushes.

Came very very very close to punching Pete Bull the French teacher, who had the wherewithal to flinch and sense the danger - seemed to get on after that (fell walking etc) I Hate having hair pulled, head smacked as the psychopath in me takes over...

Haggis Hargreaves - he was ok. Honest, I thought he was amusing. Haggis story - told us all we were an bunch of pathetic girls and we were not going to do Gym next week, but knitting. Everyone had to bring in some knitting - Some actually did!

McCafferty - used to line up all 120 boys in the year on the football pitch touchline and go down the line slippering us all. Used to reserve an extra special whack for Coward and those with Nylon shorts. Very funny.

Denholm - PE - nipple tweaker and sideburn grabber

Mrs Bunting - Fantastic Arse

Mr Birch? Biology teacher who could never finish a sentence

Freddie Mercury - English Teacher

Ivor Jones - Engineering Drawing, torpedoed twice in the war,  evacuated from Dunkirk, knew my Grandad.  and the rest,

Mr Eustace - Geography - Nastie Pastie

Jasper Swift - great guy, bags of energy and enthusiasm. Helluva swing with a gym shoe though. Massive shoe as well.

Malcolm Clarke - prototypical batchelor but a nice chap

John Towey - ok. Funny chap. (bet you're all thinking there's something wrong with me aren't you?)

Mr Bradshaw - history, still see him around Leyland area - My only A at

Tab Hunter - history - probably explains why I never did very well at history until the last year - couldn't read the writing!!

Slazinger? - French - kids used to take the mick by doing a pretend sneeze and saying Emile! Took out years of pent up aggresion on Andy Murray

Mr Murray - Physics teacher, buck teeth - common game was to ask him to say piece of paper - came out as fiece of fafer.

Who was the Maths/Physics teacher who we called Ken (had a 'tache) and used to follow Babs Bunting round with his tongue hanging out? Knob.

The chap who taught Classical Studies and followed Oldham Athletic and Werneth CC

Only had a pathological hatred for one teacher and that was Smethurst the maths teacher. He never tought me at all, but we crossed swords once and that was it - enemy for life.

Now I know your site exists I'll set a reminder to come back in a few months time and read the new entries....

Martin Livingstone, Age 39?

Hi again Martyn

From reading all the e-mails on the web-site it appears that nearly everyone who lists their first year colleagues was in Form IC, and so was I.  So here is the list of first formers from IC in 1957.  Allen, Ashworth, Bamford, Brandwood, Brown, Bristoe, Colin, Denholm, Feingold, Hamilton, Haworth, Holmes, Jackubovitch, Kay, Ley, Mayor, Morris, Noden, Price, Sharples, Smith, Taylor, Vernon, Werth, Williams and Wyatt.  Apologies for mis-spellings.  Can't imagine why I can remember that list and no others, perhaps it was because Ernie Hanson used to have us read out our marks without him calling any names.  Ivor Jones was our form master and Brian Keating our prefect (he was Deputy School Captain to Bill Barton)  We started life in Room 23 in the "new buildings"  When the extension to the new buildings was made we moved into the library off the hall.  The next year saw me in 2B with Chester Bradley as form master and we were located in the Hall, just in front of the stage.  3S was the huts with David Backhouse, 4M in the then extended new buildings with "Killer" Crouchley and 5S in Room 20 with all the doors and the 2 staff rooms and I seem to think Chester Bradley again.

Glad to see that you are getting more and more contributors, keep up the good work.

Kind regards

Barry Noden

Hi Martyn,

I spent some time looking at your website today, and saw the photo Al Reynard posted of the prefects of '74. What Al forgot to include, was that there are 4 people missing... myself (Al Engmann), Dave Smith, Phil Myers and Neil Parkinson. There could even be a fifth... Jon Travis, not the one in Al's photo, but the other one from 6M/7M. In fact, we were all in 6M/7M together.

Now you are probably asking ‘Why were were not there’? Well, I can't remember the exact timing, but it was at the end of a term, and possibly June/July time '74? (maybe one of those others missing has a better memory than me)... anyway, to cut a long story short we celebrated end of term by bringing booze into school. All went well, until some idiot, namely Ian "Phippy" Phipps left his empty beer cans in bin in the bogs! Anyone know where Phippy is these days?  Said empties were duly discovered by the caretaker and we were later marched into Hudson's office for a verbal haranguing, handing in of our tin badges, and a few whacks of the cane (does it bring back memories Tarz?)

I can add to the names of those missing from Al's photo, if they haven't already been mentioned somewhere else....

back row.. Ian something
upper middle... Mike Smith

I guess I might have remembered them all if I'd had my mug shot up there as well.

As a footnote to the above drinking episode, we later got our 'stars' back, although I didn't get my senior prefects status back, as a result of Tab Hunter and Keith Revie, and possibly others, doing some back stage politicing on our behalf.

I'll have to see what other memories I can dig up.

Hey Dave, I've just seen your picture of May last year.  What happened to the beer gut??

Cheers for now

Al Engmann

Went down to the old place this morning.

The main building is still standing but gutted inside. The Gym is gone and so are the 6th form bits.

There's   a way through the fence at the side entrance and the doors are open... so... I went inside.

Haunted house time. Stood in the hall for the last time. Debris everywhere. Birds flying around and unearthly silence . Stood in the same spot that I trembled in on September 4th 1970... and felt a  shiver again... They say that strong emotions are saved in the walls of  a building. How many untapped moments here then?

Don't think you're supposed to go in there without a  hard hat and protective clothing.  Nothing's changed there then...

Spent a while

drove away

felt old

40 years on ....

Tom Sweetman

My best pal Simon Salisbury told me to look at this web site and I am glad he did. It certainly brings
back memories, funny how the strongest ones are still of Miss Boulanger.(Was she gorgeous or what!!)

My memory generally has faded but these names and events are still there..cross country runs with
Haggis and Simon running around the football pitch as he didn't immediately pass the ball,,David Hibbert
just beating me to schoolCaptain( I was Vice-Captain, anyway thats my claim to fame),Strict school
uniform, Mr Hunters finger,the library,and my other best pal Dave Issacs eating more than anybody else
art the Fish and Griddle (he'sgot his own swimming pool now,done alright the boy!!)

I enjoyed Stand, the football, the friendships and some lessons . By the way anybody know how Mr
Schlesingers doing?

Any if anybody remembers me I would love to hear from them..

Rikki Manville


Your picture of Brian Crosfield has finally prompted me to write.

My 11 year old daughter is about to leave for France on a skiing trip and I too remember that trip to Selva!

Instant memories include: Bob Farrell the Kiwi History teacher, who was completely terrified by the experience. The wrecking of a bedroom in the first 30 minutes. The mad Grandma in the Kitchens and our attempts to teach the owner's young son some choice Anglo Saxon phrases.

I also remember the enlightened attitude Brian had in allowing us to use his and the other teachers' forenames. Unheard of in those days.

I can dig out a lot more if I try but it is late at night, but I will get back in touch.

Any one remember the graffiti incident?   The stink bomb at choir practice? Anyone out there from the No 6 bus route?

Peter Snipe

Well done Martyn!

I stumbled across this website in a moment of madness and what a bizarre and creepy experience it was travelling down that path again, walking through the 'Boys' entrance (as if there was need for that as the girls were nowhere to be seen!).

I changed my name from Shuck to Lemond here in Oz as I've always hated it and being in performing arts to an extent.  I hate hearing that name announced before appearing - it sounds really lame!

Certainly was an experience that place! I can remember very well when Haggis was off with blood poisoning for several months.  I guarantee that everyone in every assembly secretly wished him never to recover and the very noticeable groan that was heard when Geoff Barnes announced that awful morning that he was coming back was not hard to miss! What a complete bastard he was, made my life very miserable.  Got the power hose more than once.  Nearly castrated me I can tell you!

I was in 1R (Ragdale) and remember all the names that Ian Joseph listed. Before coming out here I looked up an old friend of mine, Ian Oster, who lives in Prestwich and is a solicitor (no surprises there) and he married an ex-girlfriend of mine - Michelle Olsberg, daughter of the local rabbi!!! -- cheeky sod!!  I also remember John Tiplady (whose copy of Lord of the Flies I still have at home!!) - any news on him?  He was very arty if I remember.

Have contacted Dave Crompton and we're hoping to meet up soon, that's a result!!!

I must have been the most naive one around then, I spent a lot of time with old Benji Britton (fine pianist he was) in fact we gave a couple a recitals in the hall when I was in 7LA. At no time did I suspect his extra-mural interests and not once did he lay a finger on me - when I left I had some gifts for him and remember going to see 'Doc' Barnes to find out where he was as he hadn't returned beginning of term. Doc informed me that 'Mr Britton will be away for some time' - still the penny didn't drop until John Ratcliffe (always useful for a bit of scandal) brought in the Lancashire post or whatever it was with a full page article on Mr B's playground activities!!! Little did I know - still I used to lock myself in the Music Room as much as possible and didn't really know what was going outside......

Will let you know how the old Crompton is, meanwhile keep up the good work and this shows, I think, that in spite of the dismal experience of Stand, it did turn out (no idea how!) some fairly decent, normal and relatively wholesome chaps!!!


Ray Lemond

Martyn, you may have been a prefect when I was just a sprog.  Well, mebbee not. I attended Stand from 1969 to 1975/6 (memory, ya know…). I was in the same class, 1P, as Chris Bainbridge, he, I, Kev Bowring and Rob Casey all attended Sedgley Park primary together.  Paul Conway and I got a "U" for our German O-Level, for talking. I think all I wrote on the paper was my name and landkraftwindschutzwaschenwiepen (thanks, Langenheits).  I played silly mid off or on, and was head over heels in love with Susan Smith and Charmaine Ryzchalska at the Stand Girls School..Loved those Christian Union meetings over there.

I’m now 41, 42 in June, living in USA since 1996, married, no kids (thank God), they may have turned out like me. I still remember he fight me and Tom Sweetman had, when I bust his specs with a lucky duck.  What else did I do?  Well I managed to keep out of BB's way even though I studied music, oh the fond memories of Howard Gideon tinkling "The Sting" every lunch time.  I can't remember the name of the History Teacher who left to sell life insurance and tried to sell me a policy when I was in Greater Manchester Police force.

Well enough, drivel for now, couldn’t do the OSA form, kept getting a Word error, so do what ya can for me plz.    Long time since I’ve seen anyone.  Last one was Paul Cassell when I was on route to Zurich.  He was a pilot(?).   Knew that Spanish was good for something.

Y'all have a nice day, ya hear?  or as we Cajuns say,  “Laissez les bon temps roulez”.

British 'n' proud of it…

Neil Bellamy


Nice site, but we really should find out more re: Dave Crook! Am contacting Daily Mirror as that was the paper which ran the story.

I'll have to come up with a msg for the ongoing page but, for now, I can be contacted as

Attended 1974 - 79 [O's] + 79 - 81 [A's - 6th form college] & autumn term '81 [Oxbridge entrance]

Simon Tushingham - the website for Sedgley Park Rugby Union F.C, Manchester, UK

Dear Martyn

Firstly I would like to congratulate you on a very interesting web site. I was in the penultimate year of the old Stand boys and had the dubious  pleasure of attending the school whilst it was run down. The news I have to  give you is that the demolition of the old school building has now begun, and when I passed on Friday 23rd Feb the roof of the old gym had been taken  down. Sorry to pass on bad news but I thought that it may be of interest to you. Thank you for giving me a great laugh especially the tales about "Haggis".  I  suppose no e-mail to you is complete without a "Haggis" tale so here is  mine. In the shower block after completing the regulation circuits of the showers  after PE "Haggis" used to challenge us to line up against the wall naked  whilst he used to hose us down with the cold water hosepipe. This we naively  did to beat the total set the previous morning by another House. How he was  never arrested is beyond me!! No wonder all the kids are soft nowadays.

Many thanks
Dave Evans (Clive)1977-82.

Dear Martyn,

Finding the Stand Grammar School Site brought back many memories. I was in fact only there for one year, 1959 - 1960. I lived in Swinton and had attended Moorside Junior School. The journey on the Number 6 bus was considerable then, by my standards.

I was in 1C. We sat in alphabetical order so I can remember the names of those at the earlier end of the alphabet better.

Ainsworth, Basso, Blitz, Bowker, Butterworth, Cohen, Me, Green, Hinchcliffe, Hutchinson, Leighton, Lowe, Meehan, Rifkin, Schneck, Walsh.

Apologies to the rest. Our form classroom was on the LHS facing the stage and used to get the fumes from the coke fired boiler. I am sure this had a detrimental effect on our education and I feel lucky to survive.


PE and Games with Mr McGuire were not pleasant. The man should have been locked up. I will say no more on this.

Ernie Hanson taught us maths and made it as unpleasant as possible.

Wimpey Longstaff used to hit people with rulers for not being able to sing in tune.

English with Joe Bog (Ogden). He seemed too old to pose a threat and didn't hit people, but all I can remember of his lessons is sticking folders together with sellotape and dividing sentences up into chunks that we shaded green and yellow. It might have been parsing but I can't be sure.

Mr Venvell taught us but I can't remember which subject - maybe more English or possibly History.

Geography was my favourite subject. We were taught this by Haggis.  I don't think Percy was quite so evident in the Geography room. He did have a sense of humour and the ability to make the subject interesting. I remember him telling us that there were fish in the River Irwell where he lived. Surely not the same string of grey-brown slime capped by chemical foam that slurped around Salford?

Mr Hamer taught Geometry pleasantly enough.

Mr Thompson taught science and I enjoyed his lessons. It was alleged that the iguana in the science lab bit prefects when they fed it. I held the creature in high esteem along with the pickled reptiles and other freakery.

French was taught by Mr Ball and I did OK at this.

Woodwork was with Ivor Jones but only half the class could be accomodated. Some of the time we had ancient Greek with Mr Williamson - the Beak.

In May 1960 we moved to Handforth in North Cheshire and I was destined to go to Wilmslow Grammar School a new school, due to in Sept 1960. So for most of a term it was a longer journey on the 95/96 bus with a change at East Didsbury. This did give time to write the "lines" that were frequently handed out, even if in wobbly writing.

I often wonder how things would have been if I'd stayed at Stand. For the last 31 years I have lived in Somerset and worked at the United Kingdom Hydrographic Office. I do still have relatives around Manchester and occasionally visit. It is sad that the old school is to be demolished but nice to see the writings of those who have been part of it.

Well done with the web site!

John Crocker

PS. What was that odd smell round the Whitefield Station side of the main building?

Hi, Martyn

I hope you got home alright after the Old Standians Dinner! I look out from my rear windows at the old building, and the slates have now come off the roof, though the rest looks intact. I saw someone photographing it the other day, possibly one of your correspondents? The next OSA dinner is the last Friday in November 2001.  Anyone is welcome, regardless of membership, though Tony Wilding will try to change that !
Best Wishes
Harry Wilkinson

Please add my e-mail address to your list.  I was in 1C, 1966.  My name is Dave Christmas.  I still remember most of the form roll call:  Armitage (Gary), Bennett (Dave), Brunt (Andy), Christmas, Coppitch (Michael), Cox, Day (Andy), Evans, Fletcher, Gallagher, Halliday, Hewitt (Johnny)… can’t remember all the rest but I think we had a Parsons, Stones & Williams. Maybe someone can fill in the rest. I seem to recall our teacher was Kerry Holt  but I don’t see any mention of him in the old letters. Didn’t he marry the other female teacher?  Who could ever forget Haggis?  He used to make all us first formers run naked round & round the showers whilst he, with broad grin, sprayed us with a high pressure hose. Another funny one -  Windy Miller in a history lesson (in the room under the art room and next to tech drawing room) had Bob Leigh by the sideburns doing his favourite "Up boy, down boy" routine.  Bob was not impressed and on the second down boy he said “Out, sir!” and gave Windy a head butt.  The pictures  brought back great memories and some of the stories brought tears to my eyes. You are doing a top job.  Glad someone got the Stand page up. I’ll certainly keep popping back from time to time.

Kindest regards



Interesting site.  Thought I would make a contribution so here's a photograph of 7M for year 1968/69.  For anybody wondering who is who, the boys from left to right are: Lancaster, Bloom, Speak, Thorpe, Saffer, Parrott, Gibbs, Roebuck (looking very stupid), Badlan, Goddard, Foulkes, Freedman and McDonald.  Of course the two masters who inadvisably agreed to pose are Derek Broadbent and Fred, "2 is the rare squoot of 4", Hill.  The picture was taken on the grass by the metalwork room at the side of the school.  How sad is this - I still have the beer tray!!

Readers may remember me or my brother, John Roebuck, who was at Stand from 1957 to 1963 (I think), or even my Father, Harold, who was caretaker from sometime in the 50's until retirement in 1978.  Dad died in 1995.

Regards to all.
Frank Roebuck

Hi Martyn

Great site. But what about the new boys?

I was at Stand in the penultimate year (1977-82) before it became a Sixth and my sister Thalia was one  of the first sixth formers (she was at the girls’ school on Park Lane). I remember quite clearly that the arrival of girl sixth formers changed the atmosphere greatly and signalled the demise of the sadists  Towey and Hargreaves, who could not operate effectively with members of the opposite sex around. My own sister, when questioned by a rather haughty Hargreaves as to why she was not participating in sixth form sports, replied that she had 'woman’s troubles' (although not in those reserved terms).  On all accounts Hargreaves visibly shrunk like a vampire confronted with garlic croutons. It was the beginning of the end. The biggest change at that time had to be the building of a ceiling over the main hall to create a library and a first floor study area. It was very practical at the time but it was sad  to see the double height space gone.  My best friend Jeremy Ashley had the dubious honour of being the very last Head Boy ( he failed his O levels and re-sat, hence one year behind). His big brother Johnny was also at Stand. But even at this later date we still had Towey, Hargreaves, Jock Weir, Baz Brooks (called me a 'pervert' once), McCafferty (PE), Hudson…

I realise me and my ilk were part of the modern age that heralded the transformation and eventual demise of our glorious school but we should not be forgotten…we miss the old dump too!

So, come on chaps, where are you?

My 1Philips contemporaries: Allen, Ashley, Barr, Benyair (me), Crompton, Hall, Kershaw, Mellor, Oates, Polson, Wright… Can't remember any others. Sorry.

Keep up this cool site.

Simon Benyair (Beny)

PS - I run the Westcountry Website Directory. 10% off all website design for Old Boys!

Oh Stand! I remember you well!

Hi Martyn, I'm Graham Khan, my brother Charles sent you some info on his recollections; here's a few of mine.
I served between 1964 and 1971 and was in 1B 2B 3S 4B 5S 6A 7A. Contemporaries of mine, Len Simons, Mike Hymanson, Danny Somers, Harvey Bass, Mike Sher, Eric Cooper, Lawson Dauer, Joe Bullough (deceased) Dave

Johnny Friths desk lid, carefully sculpted with a hand grip to knock seven shades of **** out of some poor first formers arse!
Haggis's slipper used for any reason he could think of to belt you!
That immortal phrase guaranteed to clear the playground in seconds - Fight Fight Fight!
The Urg and his rolling r's
Malc Jones and his Math lessons, the noise from his room was so loud that it kept us awake next door in our Maths lessons.
Heraldry with some old codger whose name escapes me but who left an imprint on my sideboards for life!
Danny Somers for growing a moustache in the 5th form and getting suspended!
Tim Lyons for using devious devices to keep his long hair above his collar
The Maths results in the 2nd year: 5 of us got 0% in the end of year exams, double figures got you into the top 5 in 2B

I am now an Optician with a shop in Preston called Optimum Eyecare, and for those of you Old Standians who require anything, 10% off on production of this letter! We do Oakleys!

Keep up the web site. All the best

Graham Khan


Congratulations on the site, it has brought back heaps of memories (some good, some bad!) I was there from 1970 - 1977, although towards the end I was there in body alone, mind being elsewhere! I have been living in New Zealand since 1989, and earning a crust as a landscape gardener.  I am still in regular contact with another OB; Paul Conway (1C-1970) now in Australia. He and I (to be fair, he more than I!) still keep in touch with Pete Lockett - was teaching in Thailand, Paul Godby (Chimp) - was in Singapore I think, and Chris Bainbridge, who were all either 1C or 1R in 1970.

We're visiting the UK in April (2001) and on the agenda was a drive up Church Lane to show my kids where Dad went to school, but to my amazement I discover  it might not be there! Perhaps you could let me know when it's actually meeting up with the big demolition ball.


Ken Lomax, Christchurch, NZ. (The pudgy one with red hair whose old fella had the sports shop down the road!) P.S. Go the All Blacks! Fri, 29 Dec 2000

I read Roger Hanson's entry today (27December 2000) and thought I would make my little contribution.

I was in class 1S,2S,3S,4L, 5S and 6 and 7 whatever, can't really remember, but I think it had an S in it somewhere. I, as with most, have very mixed memories of my years at Stand. It amazes me how, so many years after, in a group of Old Standians, most of us can remember the words of that dreadfully pretentious anthem Gaudeamus etc (probably misspelt it), which goes to show how good my Latin education was.

Like Jeremy Adelman, I see Old Standians very regularly, not all necessarily from my year, for example my brother Graham, Jeremy, Harris Frazer, my brother in law Ralph Donner, to name but a few.

As for me, I also live in the ghetto, and like a good number of people from the ghetto, am a solicitor in a practice in the centre of Manchester; for any other lawyers out there, it is called Berg and Co. I married a girl fom Stand Girls School (Joyce Filson).

Here are  a few incidents that I remember:

David Hersh throwing up at the end of an arts class in 1S, when he had to pose as the model.

David Hersh throwing up at the end of a Maths lesson in 1S.

The Fart League in 3S, and losing  a game narrowly to an SBD from Gaz Fielding (I think).

Breaking my arm in 4L, about to be taken to Bury General by Windy Miller (history teacher ), only to find his car could not start, so had to be taken by every boy's nightmare ... Hairy Heinz, who despite eveything was perfectly normal.

A school magazine written by Michael Coppitch with an hilarious article about Mr 57 Varieties - does anyone have a copy?

The first Asian boy to join the school  called Rakesh Sharma.  He joined in when I was in 4L and he sat next to me.

Someone painting on the side of the gym, in white paint  "4 teams go".

Going to see City play Sunderland  during the 3 day week, one afternoon when I should have been at school, and being able to avoid the school spies, one of whom was Revie.  Rather odd thing to do because I am a life long Utd fan, not an eater of prawn sandwiches - for more than one reason.

semi nude paintings in the corridor ouside the arts class

Miss Boulanger... Who doesn't?


Charles Khan
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Author: Martyn Arnold

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